Thursday, March 26, 2015

Ye Olde Rubbe & Tugg

Oyez Oyez Oyez, ladies and gentlemen. Let it be noted that MONTGOMERY COUNTY, MARYLAND, in assembly seeks to REGULATE the COMMERCIAL practices of REFLEXOLOGY, ACCUPRESSURE and OTHER ASSORTED manipulations of the customer's MAGNETIC FIELDS and several MERIDIANS.

If you listen closely, you can hear the cries of incumbent firms: "oh lawdy, don't throw us in the briar patch of regulation. I can't bears the thought." And of course, the "loophole" being closed here is that "sex traffickers" are contributing to lewd, illicit behavior by coercing young women to work in unlicensed, unregulated dens of iniquity. Something, you see, something must be done. Regulation is something (along with sting operations including armed raids); let's do that. What's the point of having this wonderful SWAT team you keep talking about if we never get to use it?

Workers in Murray Head-style massage parlors may not work there euvoluntarily. Forcing them out of work, jailing them, and otherwise harassing them at gunpoint probably won't do much to make their lives any better.

Also, I'd like to see where the logical end of this might be. Can't a florist be a front for, er, paid handicrafts? "Why don't you come with me into the 'stockroom' and see what we have available, sir?" How about a tax consultancy? Sirs and madams of Monty County, will you regulate all commerce in your snipe hunt? Shall you ever be satisfied?

Here's the bill if you want to read the thing.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Do you have suggestions on where we could find more examples of this phenomenon?