We Like to Party. We Like, We Like to Party!

In my haste to draw tenuous relationships between the infantilization of university students and California's recent campus consent legislation, I overlooked something important. The key provision of SB-967 is "affirmative consent." Both parties must agree to the transaction. If that sounds familiar to you, my dear readers, it may be because affirmative consent subsumes at least three of the six conditions for euvoluntary exchange.

For typical market interactions, the prima facie evidence of mutual felicity in exchange is the trade of value for value: a good or service is swapped for money. Money is, lest we forget, merely an unspecified claim on some other good or service to be redeemed in the future. The vendor typically provides a bill of sale or a receipt to affirm that the transaction was completed to satisfaction. This receipt can be used for any number of purposes, from accounting to tax collection, to evidence in a tort or civil case.

And now with SB-967, payment and receipt for sexual services rendered can provide adequate evidence for affirmative mutual consent in precisely the manner prescribed by the legislation. California is only just now discovering what courtesans have known since antiquity: proof of full consent is revealed by payment for services rendered. "Did you have consensual sex with that person?" "Yup, Sure did. Here's my receipt."

I agree that if this had happened twenty years ago, it might have been a hassle for universities to have cash registers installed adjacent to dormitory beds, but with the advent of the blockchain, students can now use bitcoin to verify consent. Instead of issuing students greenclad ledgers, they can just sign up for an alt-currency wallet to be used for sexual liaisons as part of freshman orientation.

And once these transactions are on the blockchain, they're now potentially subject to government monitoring and taxation. Universities are always hard up for revenue. This should help with some of the budget problems.

I totally don't see a downside here, guys. Let's treat sex exactly like what it is: a mutually agreeable market interaction with full public accountability. Why, we could even have an OTC derivatives market to regulate prices and smooth out inconsistencies in consumption. Who's with me? Let's make college trysts even more euvoluntary than they already are. Condoms are so 2004. Protect yourself with hash verification.